(A rare piece from the official records written down willingly and obtained without the need to dig seven graves)
Lord Zalrthor: Lord Akoroth.
Lord Akoroth: Oh. Heh. Err. My lord Zalthor. You are back. You finished your new hall so quickly? Err. How is it?
Lord Zalthor: Why must everything you do or say be for a lady?
Lord Akoroth: That is a slander. How dare you sir!
LZ: The court archives are available to me as well and that’s all you have been doing.
LA: Well, that’s only because the white lady has been the subject of discussion nowadays.
LZ: Tomaato tometo. I am just stating a pattern.
LA: Could it not be that I just have some woman company?
LZ: I am not saying whether it’s right or wrong. I am also not judging your lowly, immoral, vapid conduct and hormone controlled lifestyle.
LA: I would say it’s only simple excitement because I have a lady in my life.
LZ: Yes, you seem a lot more hyper active about things when a woman is involved.
LA: Are you not the same?
LZ: I have never done anything to win over a lady, never even tried. The ones that like me… well they just like me.
LZ: In fact, the last one had to get ME drunk in order to get me to jump into the sack with her.
LA: Still, you got to keep fishing, which is my motto.
LZ: if you keep fishing you will only get fish. I don’t want fish.
LA: You want dolphins? You are into shark porn?
LZ: No. But remember the time when we were told that dolphins don’t have dicks?
LA: I had forgotten that dolphins don’t have dicks but I am glad to know the fact features big in your tastes.
LZ: You take a beautiful moment of reminiscence and turn it into something so filthy. I don’t even know where that fish metaphor went.
LA: Oh it died like the swine it was.
LZ: but I meant to say that, without the over complex metaphor, that I am not looking for female company right now. I want to focus on things in my own life. If I meet someone I like, I will talk to them, if in the odd chance she is single I will try to hang out with her alone…and so on and so forth… till marriage and kids and death.
LA: Yes, yes, I am sure that’s what you mean Lord shark-porner. As usual your philosophy is a ray of sunshine. MY LORD TEMPEST!
Lord Tempest: Yes?
LA: Right, now, quick, say something witty and deep so we can pretend you were part of this conversation in the archives.
LT: Lord Zalthor and a dolphin. So that would be a dolphin with a dick.
LA: Perfect! To the records!
Record Keeper: It has already been done My High Lords.
LA: Excellent, a worthy addition to the annals.