Lord Akoroth’s court – entry 06.14

“My Lord Akoroth”

“My Lady Blue! How come dropping in?”

“I heard you were crying about this empty friendless shell that you call a life and that was causing insomnia.”

“Indeed it’s a tragic tale of pain. Did you know that the fair lady is refusing to spea- ”

“Right, tragic. Anyway I came to inform you that a study has found that any person only has five friends at any given time. So now you can go sleep and send back my squirrels.”

“Really? Could it be that I have a good life after all? Where has this study come from? It is obviously a great and noble thesis  undertaken by the greatest and best of minds after years of careful study”

“Ngheh. Sure. Why not”

“Now all I need is five friends. You are one of them…”

“That’s total horse shi-”

“Your opinion is unrelated. Guards throw her out. And send her critters along with her”

*Brief interlude for the marching up and dragging away events*

“Anyway where was I? The Lady Blue, the Lady Purple…who else is there? Hmm I need help. RECORD KEEPER!”

“My Lord?”

“I need three more friends…”

“Does it have to be based on facts?”

“Facts are such a restrictive concept”

“The two Lords of Zor spring to mind”

“Must they?”

“It’s either them or the gargoyles”

“Fine, but that still leaves me short of one”

“A peasant from the dungeons?”

“Hmmm…No. I think you can be my friend. That should round it up”

“I demand a doubling of my salary”

“That’s a criminal demand! 10%”

“Surely your friendship is worth 59% my Lord”

“23%. Take it or the gargoyle gets it. He is showing promising growth in his Key Responsibility Areas”

“You’re like totally my bro before the ho’s dude!”

“Perfect. Sigh! It feels good to live such a great life. I am heading to bed Record Keeper”

“Goodnight dude!”

“Dont push it”

“Yes my Lord”

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