Lord Akoroth’s Court – Entry 00:21

*RECORDING START – 11:21 PM*

*thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud*

*click…creak…croak..creak…BAM*

“My Lord Akoroth. Good morning!”

*thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud. *

“Ah Record Keeper, top of the morning to you too. How is the wife?”

“Splendid my Lord…”

*Fart*

“Phew, I see your stomach is no better though…”

“It’s a work in progress my Lord…”

*weeeerrriiinngggg*

“Make yourself comfortable my Lord, but that chair squeaks…”

“No worries heathen. Shall we begin?”

*wreeeaaaaakk*

“Ready when you are my Lord…”

*Cough cough…mee meee meee meee meeee cough cough…Hurrr ummm…cough*

“Notice anything different Record Keeper?”

*wreeeaaaaakk…tik tik tik tik wreeeeeeeeeeekk*

“You are grinning my Lord Akoroth. Any particular reason?”

“Actually two excellent things did happen today…firstly I met the King of Nerds…”

*reeeeaaaaakkkk*

“Man this chair needs oiling heathen, anyway let us continue…”

“I thought there were no Lords higher than you, where did this King come from?”

*WWWWEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeerrrrrrrOOOOOOOOaaaaaaaaKKKKKKEeeeeeee*

“She is was very pretty and interesting and told me numbers were the beginning and end of all creation…I didn’t get it but who cares…”

*Weeeeeeeeeerrrrreeeeee…cough..scratch scratch scratch…*

“my skin is itchy these days my Lord”

“Try alovera juice. Works like a charm. But lets not tarry anymore, go on”

“Yes my Lord…”

“She? The King of Nerds is a woman my Lord?”

*reeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeee*

“That’s what she said. I didn’t question it.”

“Right. Ah well. And what was the other thi..”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

*BAM*

“Cockorach my Lord?”

“Indeed…sorry about that..seems dead now.. you were saying?”

“Right. Ah well. And what was the other thing my Lord?”

“Notice the absence of panting?”

“What about it my Lord?”

“oh come on you have to care more than that!”

“Sorry my Lord, lets try again…”

“Notice the absence of panting?”

“AIYO RAMA what have you done to the scribe?”

*wooooorrreeeaaakkkkk*

“Calm down heathen. I did nothing to him. Nothing much anyway. Enough of that idiot who selectively writes down what we say. We are joining the 21st Century!

“Though I dread to know my Lord, I must ask –  what alternative have you already bought and installed without consulting anyone or checking for warranty?”

“Say hello to the Scribe Auto-Recorder 2000. It’s wired into the walls of every room. This way the conversations don’t get cut off and everything is recorded.”

*cough cough cough huurrrummm*

“what the hell was that?”

“Sorry my lord, dry throat…one sec..”

*Pour…gulp gulp gulp gulp aaaaaaaahhh*

“Feels better now my Lord, as I was saying..”

“Fascinating my Lord.”

“Isn’t it just?…Wait did that sound silly?”

“I don’t think so my Lord…”

“sure?”

“Sure my Lord..”

Isn’t it just? Here, let’s have a listen to what we got so far. The play back system is over there…”

*thud thud thud thud thud thud*

*SQQUEEEEPPPPFFFFFF THUD*

“Are you alright my Lord?”

“ughhhhhh”

“My Lord?”

“I seem to have tripped over my robes again.’

“Ah well, Here, upsy daisy my Lord…”

*thud scrape thud scrape creak.*

“Here we go…”

*RECORDING STOP – 11:31 PM*

*PLAYBACK – 11:31 PM to 11:44 PM*

*RECORDING RESTART – 11:46 PM*

“Err…that playback…err…that was…err…weird…my Lord…”

“I do admit this was not quite what I expected…”

*burp*

“Sorry my Lord”

“No worries..”

“Actually HANG ON!. That just got recorded, didn’t it?”

“Err..yes my Lord.”

“And what’s with the foot steps? It sounds like I have hammers attached to my feet!”

“Err…”

“And that chair..it’s like murder!”

“Err…”

*Tweet tweet tweet tweet CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW*

“NOW ITS RECORDING THOSE IDIOT BIRDS IN THE WINDOW!”

“Err…”

“All this inane nonsense is in my official archive? THE HELL! How do I even know which part of this conversation matters when EVERY minute of my pointless day is recorded instantly!”

“Welcome to the 21st Century my Lord…”

“Oh har de har har Record Keeper…Just tear that crap out of the walls and find the scribe. He should be naked and tarred on a donkey heading east…

“Will do my Lord…”

*thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud*

*click…creak…wreak…BAM*

*RECORDING STOP – 11:56 PM*

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