Angry metaphors and seething examples

Anger is not something to be suppressed ALL the time. And that is just the way of the world.

Of course scale matters. For example –

“Why didn’t you reply to my text messages yesterday you middle child of a swineherd”

…is acceptable. However –

“How dare you enter this town 342 years after your ancestor’s servant looked at my family’s dog in a funny way?”

…is demented.

But scaling aside, because we are deluded by ridiculous self-help taglines into thinking that anger is a vile thing that must be repressed at all costs, the sheeple tend to do so with gusto.

However that is not true and one day I will write my own self-help book and make a billion dollars based on this. Anger is like any other natural process.

Take sweating example –

We pile on the deodorant and like to pretend that sweating is as big a social ‘pfhoo paa’ as seating a Dalit minister next to a Brahmin beggar.

Strangely, all the while we completely ignore the fact that your body is covered in a millions of pores whose job, sole purpose actually, is to squeeze out the sweat.

You can think this –

“Yes! I am going to bath in Axe and be the toast of the town muhuhahahahahahahahaha”

But you are going to sweat anyway.

And just like how deodorants are mostly purchased by those who actually have no legitimate or sane reason to sweat copiously, so is anger mostly suppressed by those who have little reason to be angry.

They seem to think it’s a new age mantra. However, loyal acolytes (if you came this far into drivel like this you ARE a loyal acolyte), anger is not a mantra, it is like milk.

That is, we must always remember that milk is a tasty and refreshing option, but not as necessary as say alcohol or water. But never drinking milk does make you a bit strange and a weak-boned pansy.

Good anger does have its chaddi-buddy – bad anger.

That is when you are angry all the time.

On a side note: These kinds of people have been shown in our culture as lovable oafs or deep scarred souls. They are shown as coconuts – hard on the outside and tender on the inside. If you actually have to deal with an angry person on a daily basis the only time it will feel like being with a coconut is if that nut was hurled at your head repeatedly.

Anyway back to the point.

If you are someone who identifies with the phrase –

That’s just me alright, I am angry and when I am angry I can’t think and this enormous list of things anger me so everyone better accept it. And NO I don’t care if it’s been 2343 years I will not calm down. Deal with it!

Then remember – your anger has no meaning or value and with each passing day you will be treated exactly like the foaming rabid unchangeable prehistoric animal that you are.

I cannot take anger so seriously. I used to but not anymore.

Sooner rather than later I find myself unstoppably plummeting into Bhama. And once you sit on the throne of a Lord of Zor, little else actually matters.

The throne also tends to give you wonderful clarity about some things. Not this particular article, which is beginning to resemble a drunk’s route to the bathroom, but other things I assure you.

But here is what you really, really need to know –

Milk has an expiry date. (This is coming back to my original metaphor. Scroll up, I know you have already forgotten…Go on I will wait…Back? Right lets continue)

The date is there so that you don’t end up sitting on the toilet the whole day because you drank bad milk. The dates are for you, child.

At one point you are going to have to decide –

To read or not to read the expiry date?

Does your anger have any value? Is it, in fact, a fresh and delightful dairy product?

Or is it a disgusting rotten sludge with creepy wormy things sloshing about in it?

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