Ramdev’s cross dressing: Should we be worried?

Baba Ramdev strikes a pose @AP

“Record Keeper?”

“Moshi moshi my Lord?”

“You see this picture of a bearded man in the clothing of the girls on the front page of this newspaper? Isn’t this Baba Ramdev? Have people in India become free and liberal without my knowledge?  Is it time for me to also symbolically strike down anti-deviant sex laws from our lands?”

“My Lord we don’t have any sex laws whatsoever. It really is more of a plea on the books for the ladies to give you a chance. And yes, that is indeed Baba Ramdev. He nearly escaped a police crackdown because he was dressed like that. They broke up his fast to death yesterday. “

“Nearly?”

“They caught him anyway. It was a heinous outrage against his fundamental right to protest. ”

“Oh really? How come he escaped them for this photo shoot? Jail break?”

“Well they let him go…”

“I thought this was a crackdown? I know the government in India is corrupt and inefficient but is it this weak? Can’t do a proper crackdown/encounter?”

“Well technically it was a ‘preventive arrest and removal from city’ sort of action, my Lord.”

“So he would have been released a few hours later outside the Indian Capital no matter when they arrested him?”

“Yes my Lord.”

“Then why did he dress like a woman? Why not just give himself up to the police and then refuse to leave the jail? A picture of him defiantly behind bars would have made a better statement than cross-dressing. Just a thought.”

“You will have to ask him that yourself my Lord.”

“So basically he was perfectly willing to starve himself to death for the fight against injustice. But preferred to dress like a woman rather than go to jail for a few hours? Death yes, jail no?”

“Once again you will have to make these enquires to the concerned persons yourself my Lord. Our embassy in India was too busy getting drunk that night to really do much gossip mongering.”

“Hmmm. So in this picture here, he appears to be surrounded by hundreds of people and is striking quite a dashing pose, hands on hips and all. Cops weren’t hunting him at this time I presume.”

“No my Lord they were not. That picture is from the next day actually.”

“Then why is he still wearing the lady dress?”

“Err…Maybe he felt we needed to see him in the attire”

“Well we will certainly have no trouble imagining him in the girly frills now. But still I feel the government of India acted hastily, such a crackdown does not do well for a democracy. Luckily we have no such silly notions in my land. Tyranny all the way is what I always say. Send some cops over for crackdown training though. They seem to know how to do it pretty well.”

Yes my Lord the action was hasty. It’s all become political now. But this ‘fast to death’ culture seems to have really set in now. It’s certainly caught the public imagination.”

“I am not surprised. I find it amazing how Baba Ramdev was going to fast to death for these demands. And they just tore the campaign apart. Poor man. Since he was going to kill himself for the nation I presume now he is penniless and broke, having renounced all worldly goods for the cause of righteousness. The companies he owns, the medicines he sells, the hundreds of crores of rupees I heard he made through the whole yoga thing…”

“Err. We don’t know how much of his wealth and responsibilities he gave up my Lord. It was a fast to ‘death’, but not like Mahatma Gandhiji’s fasts to DEATH death.”

“Just a fast to death-ish Record Keeper?”

“The details don’t really matter now my Lord. The country is in uproar over this police action. They say it reminds of them of the Indian Emergency. Some are calling this a repeat of Jallianwalla Bagh. It’s really got the people outraged…”

“Jallianwalla Bagh? Thousands of patriots shot coldly and uncaring by a police force? The blood of hundreds of victims soaked the ground red? A massacre of civilians that was just short of genocide?”

“Well it wasn’t quite that dramatic.”

“What was the death toll? Should we light some candles? I wish you would tell me these things first only Record Keeper, I would have worn mourning.”

“You are in black every day anyway…and actually they said it was only ‘like’ Jallianwalla Bagh. No one actually died.”

“You mean just ‘like’ how this negotiated ‘fast to death’ by the billionaire Baba is ‘like’ the fast to death by the late, great and penniless Mahatma Gandhiji?”

“Somewhat like that my Lord.”

“So India is in uproar? The nation has closed down? The people have taken to the streets? Quit India all over again?”

“Err…”

“Have the common public taken to the streets? Revolution is in the air?”

“Err…no my Lord.”

“Hmmm. Right, that’s that then”

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