Wimbledon: Mini skirts for women, mini shirts for men?

“My lord Akoroth, what are you doing? I have been looking for you…”

“Have you now? I have been watching this Tennis thing on the television. Wimbledon…”

“You can’t find the remote can you my Lord?”

“Lost it about two hours ago…but it was not a complete waste, this viewing has left me with some interesting questions…”

“Can you not ponder on them further my Lord? Maybe for a few more months? Keep thinking at it? Keep it within you? Let it brew for a while and all that?”

“No I must ask and receive your counsel now…Guards! bring the chains.”

*some clinking later*

“This really is not necessary my Lord…”

“That’s what you said last time. And I didn’t know those heating vents could be opened from the outside, let alone that they were wide enough for anyone to crawl into…”

“Necessity is the mother of invention my Lord”

“Chains are the result of that innovation. Anyhoo you know in this Tennis, the women are leaving me puzzled…”

“My Lord, really? We just finished the out of court settlement for ‘Akoroth vs Women’s Rights Organisation’ thanks to the ‘thought’ about ‘appliances’…”

Nadal
The girl no 1 and the boy no 1 with his longer five inches. same rank as her though.

“No no, this is one is safe. As I was saying, they amaze me.  Why do they wear mini-skirts and micro shorts?’

“What? That lets them play comfortably…”

“The men seem to make do with shorts about five inches longer…”

“Well that’s the men and these are the girls my Lord…”

“So they play Tennis and also give the spectators something to look at other than Tennis…”

“Something like that my Lord…it’s like those fancy designer clothes they wear”

“Those are rather pretty…”

“Exactly my Lord. The micro shorts makes the women rather pretty as well so tha-”

Andy Murray
“Shave? Shaving is for pansies, not Englishmen! Now pass me the tea, love. There’s a good boy.”

“So they play with equal talent, for less money and most of the times it all about how pretty their legs are anyway? I mean come on! This Andy Murray chap didn’t even bother to shave, shorts be damned”

“They get equal money my Lord…”

“Since when?”

“Since 2007…”

“How noble of the Grand Slams. Anyway about the legs…”

“Don’t put it like that my Lord, Wimbledon is a grand and prestigious are-“

Damn his packed hide! Does he need a bigger reason to play without a shirt?

“Why doesn’t Nadal play without a shirt?”

“Who?”

“The Spaniard. The current number one. You know the one who hits like horse. He has rock hard abs, some 50 packs I think. I am sure the female fans would love it…and it would definitely increase his sexuality…”

“That’s against the rules my Lord’

“So the men CAN’T be sexy, but the women MUST be?”

“The men can’t. The women…err…possibly choose to be sexy since they are female my Lord, there is no rule as such…”

“Feels a bit sexist don’t it?”

“Err…”

“But this is a GAME, a SPORTS event, a Tennis game at that, the only thing less glamorous technically is Golf…If the women don’t mind, actually work towards, being sexy while playing a game of Tennis, why did you force me to enact all those gender equality laws? The whole glass ceiling crap?”

“It wasn’t crap and that’s a totally different situation…”

“How?”

“My Lord the women deserve equality with the men, there is no question of living any other way. But they also want the right to be sexual and still be seen as nothing more than equal workers for the common cause…”

“Well that’s great! So can I go play Tennis without a shirt and in my skin-tight short-shorts?”

“WHAT? You weigh some 100 kil- my Lord, you must NEVER wear skin-tight anything…”

“But I am choosing to be sexual. Isn’t that my right as equal with the women and all? Fine I will wear full pants, but the shirt remains off, that way we both can show equal amounts of our luscious sexual bodies to the hungry desperate cr-”

“MY LORD THE RIGHT DOESN’T APPLY TO MEN! AND NEVER, EVER, EVER APPLIES TO YOU!”

“Feels a bit sexist don’t it?’

“I think I can spot the remote my lord…so you can change the channel…”

“All I am saying is that in a game where eventually talent is what wins the day, why do they actively choose to include an element of sexuality? Doesn’t that lower their cause for equality?”

“Yes! I am sure I have spotted it my Lord, its right behind your throne, GAURDS GET THE DAMN REMOTE ALREADY!”

“You know Record Keeper you are never good for conversation, I haven’t even asked about the grunting yet and I have so ma-ooohhh lions on Discovery…’

“Yes my Lord, look at the pretty cats…now where is the god damn weakest link…let’s see here…”

2 thoughts on “Wimbledon: Mini skirts for women, mini shirts for men?”

  1. Men can be as sexy as they like without going topless, Akoroth. Same rule for the ladies. No rule restricting shortness or tightness of men’s shorts/shirts. Equal both ways. Now, I can see that it STILL bothers the male viewer…. 🙂

    1. From the offices of the his holy majesty Lord Akoroth;

      My Lady,

      I honestly do not know about the rules or much about tennis. But here is what I do know,

      The game is about who can hit a ball the best with a racquet. The game is about how awesome Nadal’s backhand is. The game about how Serena Williams possibly has the best serve. And it is ALSO about – “did you see what a darling skirt she was wearing/ did you check out the legs on that carolina?”

      Is that smile-wink-nudge bonus? A little thank you from the girls for taking the trouble to watch the game?

      It might come under freedom of choice but without any physical or inherently unchangeable factors, equality is cold and neutral. Or at least it should be.

      So yes, it does bother.

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