Becoming a fan…

“My Lord, this note came from Lord Zal…what the?”

“Ah Record Keeper! You like the new decorations?”

Djokovic takes trophy…Nadal thinking – “Zees iz baad Djoke, varry baaaad Djoke”

“I…Err…I think those are some impressively large pictures of a man…and while I am neutral on such things, to each their own and all that, I am not sure its political for such an open declaration…”

“What are you babbling about heathen? That’s Novak Djokovic. He is the new Wimbledon champion! He is the new king of the world, the apple of every one’s eye and certainly an impressive fellow! I have decided to come out and acknowledge my fanship of him!”

“I know who he is my Lord. It’s just that the 60-foot posters of him in the audience hall convinced me that they were symbolizing another form of coming out.”

“You have a black mind Record Keeper.”

“I try my best my Lord. But why the sudden enthusiasm?”

“I have decided to solve the eternal sport fanship problem by being slightly ahead of the curve this time.”

“The what problem?”

“The sport fanship problem heathen. It is a peculiar social phenomenon where you can’t be a fan of the best player in a sport WHEN he or she is at the peak of their career. If you do that then you are a sell-out, a riff raff, one of those loose phtangs who is a ‘fan’ of the ‘winning side’ and not a true believer.”

“But if that’s the logic why don’t we have giant posters of Andy Murray my Lord? He has never won thereby making us the ultimate fans of all time…”

Oh my dear Andy Murray fans. the Marquis de Sade would be so proud of you people

“Don’t be foolish Record Keeper. You don’t support the dude who is going to LOSE lose. The fans that do that are just weird and should be avoided at all costs. What you actually do is support the dude who is not a winner YET but statistically likely to be one. That way you can be a fan without carrying the emotional baggage of being a fan ‘just cause he is popular’ while at the same time not having the your hopes and dreams crushed on a regular basis. It’s a win-win.”

“So we are fans of Djokovic but not of Nadal or Federer.”

“Exactly! Though truth be told I had never heard of him till he became a winner in Wimbledon. So IF anyone asks we can just say that these posters have been up here ‘since like forever dude’ and hope they don’t ask us trivia questions.”

“I am certainly amazed that you got these posters up here so fast my Lord. He won at 11 pm and it’s barely four hours later now…”

“I know. I had to pay a huge amount to get the printers to open up at night and get these here pronto. But I thought it was a good deal…”

“How much money exactly my Lord?”

“Well the payment was not in the form of money per se, more like an exchange of sorts…a barter…”

“WAIT! WHAT! WHO? SANTA MARIA…DARLING WHERE ARE YOU!”

“Oh get back here Record Keeper. Your wife is safe.”

*wheeze*

Leave a Reply