New soft drink ads – Cracked monkeys and loose women!

Welcome to India where the cows eat hay and we drive autorickshaws every day!

So you got to love soft drink ads. There seems to be quite a few of them around nowadays.

If you want a weird ad then the new Thumbs Up ads with Mahesh Babu is the one for you.

It begins with Mahesh Babu spreading out what looks like a building blueprint that he and his pals are pouring over while sipping Thumbs Up.

He then looks up with all the emotion of a poor man’s Shah Rukh Khan and announces “Aaj Kuch Toofani kar le” a.k.a ‘let’s do something fucked up today!’

Now for a minute there, looking at the blueprint and all, I assumed they were going to rob the place.

Actually what I thought doesn’t matter since you never see that piece of paper again.

on many a long night, I have wondered what ever happened to that blueprint.

Did the original plan call for a totally different ad in which the blueprint played an essential part, but in the last minute they decided – fuck it with the blueprint, let’s just jab Mahesh Babu with some Grade A Columbian cocaine, then throw him off a building, film the results, and if he survives, slap a slogan in the end?

Now I don’t know what actually happened. But looking at the ad, I feel my guess is pretty possible.

And what any of all that has to do with drinking Thumbs Up? Your guess is as good as mine.

You see, with all that jumping and leaping and running around like a pack of crazed monkeys under the banner ‘lets do something crazy today’, I can’t make out if they are selling a soft drink or crack.

Of course sometimes this whole ad business goes wonderfully off the rails. Take the Dew.

Mountain Dew ads always stick with their tried and tested (on who I wonder) formula – Drink Dew and conquer fear.

In this particular ad, some random dude skateboards down a massive dam as water pours down from above with all that lovely CGI realism that is the hallmark of a school project made by a  five-year-old.

Now one could say that the message this drink is pushing that ‘doing the Dew’ causes the drinker to attempt suicide. (Does it really taste that bad?)

But that noble message is lost on me.

I can’t help but feel that the only time I will ever be in a situation where these three elements are involved – a dire situation, a need for courage and a mountain dew – is if I am dying of thirst and must summon the courage to drink a liquid that is visually indistinguishable from piss.

Go on, I will tell myself at that point, victory is ahead of fear.

Of course if you really want to see shit go off the rails then you need to go no further than the new Sprite ad.

Sprite ads took me by storm when they first came around.

They usually targeted the absolutely ridiculous ads of Pepsi, Mountain Dew and Coca Cola and had the catchy slogan – only taste, no gyaan, i.e our stuff tastes so good we don’t need to bullshit you into drinking it.

It was a good campaign and really made me feel like having a Sprite.

Then someone in management took a look at that winning formula and said “fuck that”.

And so we have their latest creation, the sad end of a desperately plummeting spiral.

As far as I could tell, the ad shows this –

A girl is with Dude A. She then hears some guitar playing and goes and cuddles with Guitar boy. Then Dude A suggests that they dance and so the girl gets right back to canoodling Dude A, while Guitar boy looks on sadly.

Now I have no idea what message you are supposed to take away from all of this.

But here is my guess –

If the girl you are with dumps you for some other dude, then just dangle a new idea before her face and you can have her right back because women are whores with the attention span of kittens. (Also try and drink some Sprite)

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Next batch please!

2 thoughts on “New soft drink ads – Cracked monkeys and loose women!”

  1. Oh thank you. thank you for this. The new Thums Up and the Dew ads have been giving me an itch…I mean, hello extra dude – right when he is about to jump off is not when you caution him about the 300 ft.
    As for the Sprite one, I just thought I missed its messaging because I am not part of its target demographic. Seriously, why are ads not about fun anymore.
    PS: Love the new Voltas ads 🙂

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